they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My dick has a subreddit
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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