so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
