I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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