I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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