plz talk dirty to me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
