I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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