doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I will pee on everything he values.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
