Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
