dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
