Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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