Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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