This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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