why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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