I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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