i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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