Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
