I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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