mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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