I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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