ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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