My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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