It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize