It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
