I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
