omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
