I'm really into asian looking animals
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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