she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
