Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
