go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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