No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
