so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
