I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
