i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
