cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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