Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize