Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
