is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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