this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
