So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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