Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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