if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
