Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
