I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
we should paint friendship bongs
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