I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
