i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
