So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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