i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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