Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
