A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
