u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
