He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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