Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Randomize
