I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
