Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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