If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
