Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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