do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
