I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize