i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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