This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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