hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
